Scam Alert !!! National Home Services !!!!!

New Door to Door Sales Regulations

As of March 1, 2018, under the Consumer Protection Act, many energy-related products and services (listed below) can no longer be offered or sold door to door or in your home unless you've initiated the transaction (for example, you called or emailed the business and asked for a home visit). There are some exceptions if you have a contract already in place.

The products and services included in this new legislation are: furnaces, air conditioners, air cleaners, air purifiers, water heaters, water treatment devices, water purifiers, water filters, water softeners, duct cleaning services, any good or service that performs one of more of the functions listed above (for example, an HVAC system).

For more details, visit the Ministry of Government and Consumer Services.

Geoff Daye
Door To Door Sales
(Scammer)
National Home Services

Whitby, Ontario,
Canada
This is the piano player by night sales con man by day

This is a public service message,
and this guy should think twice about deceiving prospects
with internet search available

MySpaceForThieves

Just tonight, an agent from National Home Service - Water Heater Division came by to check my water heater. He said since it is 10 years old, I should probably change it. So then he explains how National will replace mine with a high efficiency model with $0 installation fee but a slight increase to my monthly rental charge (to $24.25). They will also return my existing one to Enbridge and there will be no charge to me. Now here is the problem...

This agreement is for a 15 year term which he never even mentioned.
Its in the fine print.

1. Which he doesn`t give you a chance to read.
2. Hustles you on the point of when can we install the new unit.
3. He leads you to believe that this is an Enbridge program all heaters are being replaced,
4. He has to come in and check the heater for installation of the new one.
5. Enters under a completely false pretense and costume
6. Dresses like a blue collar meter reader , construction type with orange vest and clipboard.

Its all a con, he asks you to get your enbridge bill since he needs that to get your account number to complete the scam.

He says whats a good day to do the installation
then he says sign here to authorize our installers to do the work.

What you are signing is a 15 year rental contract for more money then Enbridge charges and that is never mentioned by design.

He may look like blue collar enbridge installers, but they talk like vacuum cleaner sales people ready to steal your money for huge commissions. Beware and Don`t get sucked in.


They are thieves and you are their next prey. I showed them the door, they would NOT allow me to read the contract and they would not leave the contract. 24.25 x 15 year = $4365.00

Warning! DON'T LET THEM STEP INTO YOUR HOUSE AND DON'T SIGN ANYTHING

Nothing about them on Enbridge
http://www.enbridge.com/about/

SCAM ALERT DO NOT BUY FROM
http://www.nationalhomeservices.ca/

Don't sign sales deals at your door

Jul 19, 2008 04:30 AM

Comments on this story (14) Ellen Roseman

Someone comes to your door and asks if you want to replace your water heater with a more energy-efficient model.
Never assume you're dealing with the same company that currently rents the equipment to you.
It may be a rival firm, hoping to lock you into a long-term contract and charge penalties to get out early.
National Home Services – part of Universal Energy Corp. –is making sales pitches to homeowners who rent water heaters from Direct Energy.
It's offering two months of free rent to those who replace their hot water tanks – and two more months if they refer others.
Laura Thornton, who lives in Ajax (east of Toronto), signed with National Home Services after someone came to her door.
"They said they were with the gas company and wanted to replace the water heater. It was sitting on the floor and there was a combustion problem with the gas," she says.
She realized she wasn't dealing with her current supplier only when she got a letter from Direct Energy, warning her about National Home Services.
Thornton now understands that her contract with a rival firm requires her to pay rental charges for the next 15 years.
She will be faced with penalty fees to cancel any time during that period – for example, if she sells her home to a new owner who doesn't want to keep the rental equipment.
Direct Energy customers can remove their rented water heaters without paying a penalty. That's because of an agreement between Enbridge Gas and the federal competition bureau in 2001.
Enbridge had been charging high exit fees for customers who rented water heaters – fees that the competition bureau felt were designed to keep out rivals.
(Enbridge sold its home services business to Direct Energy in 2002.)
Direct Energy rents about 1.4 million water heaters to Enbridge Gas clients. It says the sales agents working for National Home Services are providing "misleading and incorrect information."
The company has received 1,700 customer calls in the past two weeks about agents going door to door for National Home Services, said Bob Huggard, president of home and business services.
Rival sales agents are telling people that Direct Energy's water heaters are unsafe, he says.
They're saying the tanks are inefficient if more than five years old. In fact, the average lifespan is 16 years.
Finally, some agents claim that Direct Energy is no longer in the water-heater rental business.
"We do not make any statements about Direct Energy no longer being in the water heater rental business," says Shawn Dym, senior vice-president of National Home Services.
"It would make no sense whatsoever for us to say anything that could be so easily disproved,"
Both sides are trying to discredit each other.
Direct Energy took the initiative to call me and talk about its competitor's tactics.
National Home Services sent me an internal memo from Direct Energy to its call-centre staff, telling them how to coach customers on cancelling their contracts.
My advice: Don't sign contracts with people who show up at your door. Don't show them your gas bill. Don't make any decisions before reviewing your options.
If you do sign, try to cancel before the 10-day cooling off period ends. For more information, call the consumer ministry at 1-800-889-9768.
Ellen Roseman's column appears Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday.

Door sales continue I missed finding this article before I signed a contract last week. I have done some homework and could not verify the efficiency claims made. I found out that my current rental company (Direct Energy) would exchange my 12 year old tank and upgrade exhaust piping to new standards at no cost to keep me as a customer. National Home Services had a very smooth sales person with a presentaion that was very tempting and cleverly included some items that could easily be understood to have you believe the current heater was very inefficient, did not meet current safety codes and had very dirty (unhealthy) contents. I quickly cancelled my contract with National Home Services. Submitted by RJB04 at 6:13 PM Monday, March 09 2009

Disgusted but Relieved Thank god I saw this article today. They paid me a visit today and like an idiot I signed. Then I started thinking and did some research. Consumer beware, okay if your water heater is old but 5 years is not old and should have remembered that. Cancelled immediately and will check when written contract comes that I am cancelled. I sick of these guys and the misrepresentation, have learned a valuable lesson today. Thanks again Submitted by thevickster at 6:35 PM Thursday, September 25 2008

thank god.. cont... They could not change the tank since the basement was built in a way that the tank could not be taken out. Now, I even made a hole on the dry wall to get space... but NHS is not going to change it .. now i have read this.. Submitted by MBala at 8:14 PM Thursday, September 18 2008

Door to Door? I wouldn't buy a bubble gum from a door to door sales person. I don't know who brain washes these people but they sure do a great job. On many occassions I have had to argue with the sales people because I don't want what they are selling. Shame on me for not giving my money up for some misleading sales pitch. Submitted by Pete at 12:15 PM Sunday, July 20 2008

Aggressive Sales This company has been to our door several times and it is very misleading as you think you are dealing with your current company or people with some authority. Fortunately I am not easily swayed or intimidated. We have posted a "no solicitation" sign so that they will stop knocking on the door. Thanks for the informative article on these sharks. Submitted by Carefulspider at 10:45 AM Sunday, July 20 2008

Re water heating - Cheaper to own than rent When replacing my boiler, I ask about renting a small tank as we do not require to heat 50 gallons of water 24 hours a day for a household of 2 but smaller tanks were only for sale so I purchased one albiet not from Direct Enerygy as their cost to replace the boiler was more expensive than the firm that sold and installed the new heating system.as the cost over time was less than the rental fee I would have to pay. Michael Travaline, Etobicoke. Submitted by MJT at 12:07 AM Sunday, July 20 2008

Here's an idea... Don't rent your hot water tanks. Do the math. It takes roughly 3 years of rental fees to own the tank and these tanks come with long warranties. Do you rent your fridge, stove or microwave? A hot water tank is no different. The tank rental can be negotiated right out of the purchase of a home. Ask your realtor. Submitted by dok1234 at 10:40 PM Saturday, July 19 2008

water heating if you really want to save money, replace your water tank with a tankless system. it's more money up front but the savings on energy will compensate in time. btw, why would anyone rent a water heater (tank) - do the math! Submitted by gonzo at 5:08 PM Saturday, July 19 2008

"I'm going to save you money" That is the statement presented to me by a Door to Door energy salesperson. My reply, to that person was, "No one is out to save me money" Ever since the energy markets (gas & electric) were open to so-called competition, the price hasn't lessened, it's got more expensive. Whether it's Direct Energy, National Home Services or all the other resellers, anyone who signs up with these companies will always end up paying more. Submitted by Hammer at 3:13 PM Saturday, July 19 2008

Conficker flaw reveals which computers are infected

Even worm creators write buggy software.

Once it infects a computer, the Conficker worm closes the hole in Windows that it used to get onto the system so no other malware can get in. This also makes it difficult for organizations to detect which computers have the legitimate Microsoft patch and which have the fake Conficker patch.

However, Conficker's "patch" has a weakness that can be used to distinguish between patched computers and infected computers that look patched, according to the nonprofit Honeynet Project.

Some of the researchers have released a proof-of-concept scanner that can be used to detect Conficker. The tool is being integrated into the free nMap vulnerability scanner, as well as scanning tools from companies including Qualys, nCircle, and Tenable. The tools are designed for use by network administrators at companies and not consumer users.

"What we've found is pretty cool: Conficker actually changes what Windows looks like on the network, and this change can be detected remotely, anonymously, and very, very quickly. You can literally ask a server if it's infected with Conficker, and it will tell you," Dan Kaminsky, director of penetration testing at IOActive who worked with The Honeynet Project, wrote on his blog. "We figured this out on Friday, and got code put together for Monday. It's been one heck of a weekend."

Qualys' remote-detection Conficker scanner is automatically available to its subscribers and will be available to others soon, said Wolfgang Kandek, Qualys' chief technology officer.

The worm has been around since November, but the most recent variant is programmed to connect to other computers on April 1 and as a result has triggered mass confusion and a media frenzy.

The worm exploits a vulnerability in Windows that Microsoft patched in October, as well as through network shares and removable storage devices like USB drives.

The latest variant shuts down security services, blocks connections to security Web sites, downloads a Trojan, and connects to other infected computers via peer-to-peer technology. It also includes a list of 50,000 different domains to reach out to for updated copies or instructions, but only 500 of those will be contacted on April 1. Earlier versions of the worm attempted to contact 250 domains.

A quick way to tell if your computer is infected is to try to access the Web site of a major antivirus vendor, which the worm blocks.

The OpenDNS security services provider blocks access to the domains listed in the Conficker code. Microsoft has more information on its site, as does Symantec. The

Does that mean the next version will fix the flaw in the code?

Watch Leslie Stahl talk to Steve Trilling, Symantec VP Security Tech & Response, on 60 Minutes about the impact of the Conficker worm.

http://security.symantec.com/sscv6/WelcomePage.asp

Watch CBS Videos Online

Chinese hackers ‘using ghost network to control embassy computers’

A spy network believed to have been controlled from China has hacked into classified documents on government and private computers in 103 countries, according to internet researchers. The spy system, dubbed GhostNet, is alleged to have compromised 1,295 machines at Nato and foreign ministries, embassies, banks and news organisations across the world, as well as computers used by the Dalai Lama and Tibetan exiles.

China's cyber-hacking operations are becoming increasingly sophisticated

The work of Information Warfare Monitor (IWM) investigators focused initially on allegations of Chinese cyber-espionage against the Tibetan exile community, but led to a much wider network of compromised machines. IWM said that, while China appeared to be the main source of the network, it had not been able conclusively to identify the hackers. The IWM is composed of researchers from an Ottawa-based think-tank, SecDev Group, and the Munk Centre for International Studies at the University of Toronto.

They found that the foreign ministries of Iran, Bangladesh, Latvia, Indonesia, the Philippines, Brunei, Barbados and Bhutan had been spied on remotely, and the embassies of India, South Korea, Indonesia, Romania, Cyprus, Malta, Thailand, Taiwan, Portugal, Germany and Pakistan hacked.

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The operation is thought to be the most extensive yet uncovered in the political world and is estimated to be invading more than a dozen new computers a week. Other infected computers were found at the accountancy firm Deloitte & Touche in New York.

The IWM report said: “GhostNet represents a network of compromised computers in high-value political, economic and media locations in numerous countries worldwide. These organisations are almost certainly oblivious to the compromised situation in which they find themselves. The computers of diplomats, military attachés, private assistants, secretaries to prime ministers, journalists and others are under the concealed control of unknown assailant(s).

“In Dharamsala [the headquarters of the Tibetan government in exile] and elsewhere, we have witnessed machines being profiled and sensitive documents being removed. Almost certainly, documents are being removed without the targets’ knowledge, key-strokes logged, web cameras are being silently triggered and audio inputs surreptitiously activated.”

Chinese hackers are thought to have targeted Western networks repeatedly. Computers at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office and other Whitehall departments were attacked from China in 2007. In the same year, Jonathan Evans, the MI5 Director-General, alerted 300 British businesses that they were under Chinese cyber-attack.

British intelligence chiefs have warned recently that China may have gained the capability effectively to shut down Britain by crippling its telecoms and utilities. Equipment installed by Huawei, the Chinese telecoms giant, in BT’s new communications network could be used to halt critical services such as power, food and water supplies, they said.

The Chinese Embassy in London said that there was no evidence to back up the claim that the Chinese Government was behind GhostNet and alleged that the report had been “commissioned by the Tibetan government in exile”.

Liu Weimin, a spokesman, said: “I will not be surprised if this report is just another case of their recent media and propaganda campaign. In China, it is against the law to hack into the computers of others, and we are victims of such cyber-attack. It is a global challenge that requires global cooperation. China is an active participant in such cooperation in the world.”

Once the hackers had infiltrated the systems, they gained control using malware – software installed on the compromised computers – and sent and received data from them, the researchers said. “The GhostNet system directs infected computers to download a Trojan known as Ghost Rat that allows attackers to gain complete, real-time control,” IWM said. “These instances of Ghost Rat are consistently controlled from commercial internet access accounts located on the island of Hainan, in the People’s Republic of China.”

Hainan is home to the Lingshui signals intelligence facility and the Third Technical Department of the People’s Liberation Army, IWM said.

Greg Walton, editor of IWM, said: “Regardless of who or what is ultimately in control of GhostNet, it is the capabilities of exploitation, and the strategic intelligence that can be harvested from it, which matters most. Indeed, although the Achilles’ heel of the GhostNet system allowed us to monitor and document its far-reaching network of infiltration, we can safely hypothesise that it is neither the first nor the only one of its kind.”

Carlins 10 Commandments Down To 2

Do you believe in yourself?

“We cannot rise higher than our thought of ourselves.”

-- Orison Swett Marden

What do you believe about yourself?

If you are experiencing a lack of something in your life, chances are that you hold a belief in your subconscious that says you aren't worthy of having that quality. Write in your journal the answer to these questions for yourself:

- Where are you not good enough, not worthy enough?
- How willing are you to receive?

"We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit."

-- e. e. cummings

Progressively shift your prosperity consciousness from managing money to thinking prosperously to manifesting abundance.

Now since Jw's Banged On My Door Today I Pose The Question

Are They Gods Chosen People?
You decide ...
Dates Of Failed prophesy
1874 Russell
1914 Russell
1925 RutherFord
1975 Knorr and GB
And now they change the meaning of 1914 as the beginning of the end

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Earth Hour II is a smash

Toronto Skyline

SNAPSHOTS FROM A DARKENED CITY

AT Toronto City Hall, two giant screens counted down the seconds until Earth Hour, echoed by thousands watching from Nathan Phillips Square. The crowd erupted in cheers when the big moment came and city hall went suddenly, dramatically dark. Office towers quickly followed suit.

MANY Yonge St. stores closing for the night left their lights on, a fact that didn't escape Darlene and Richard Lantz. The couple, who waited outside the Winter Garden Theatre before catching a show, said they always turn the lights off when they leave home. They were confident their kids, ages 18 and 25, would shut off the lights for Earth Hour.

WHILE the Maple Leafs couldn't dim the lights in the Air Canada Centre's arena bowl during their game against Boston last night, they did make an effort to reduce energy comsumption. Lights in the concourses were reduced by 30 per cent during the duration of the game and the team did not use outside lights such as spotlights, signage and roof lighting.

HUNGRY revellers lined up to buy snacks from hot dog stands on Queen St. W. Harsh lights glared from the ceiling of the K. Kardinas stand outside Nathan Phillips Square. "I can't see with no lights," the cook said curtly.

– Paola Loriggio and Paul Hunter

Toronto 'gets it,' lowers power usage over last year as lights dim across the GTA and as far away as Beijing

March 29, 2009

Daniel Dale
STAFF REPORTER

And the environmentalists said let there be darkness. And – for an hour, at least – there was darkness: in downtown office towers and suburban homes, in stores big-box and mom-and-pop, at gatherings long-planned and impromptu.

Not a solution, no, but a statement. At 9:30 p.m., the conclusion of the second global Earth Hour, the meter at Toronto Hydro's control centre that measures city-wide electricity demand hit 2,545 megawatts – 15 per cent below typical demand at that time and 7 per cent below the lowest demand during Earth Hour in 2008.

Toronto's reduction of 455 megawatts was larger than the cumulative savings of the entire GTA during last year's event.

"Torontonians want to do what's right for the environment because they get it," Mayor David Miller told a cheering crowd at Nathan Phillips Square. "It's a privilege to be mayor of a city that gets it."

The increasing local popularity of Earth Hour, for which people worldwide were asked to turn off their lights between 8:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m., reflected its rapid growth internationally. Launched in Sydney by the World Wildlife Fund in 2007 to raise awareness of the perils of climate change, it spread to more than 35 countries, including Canada, in 2008.

Yesterday, more than 80 countries and nearly 4,000 cities participated. Organizers claimed about 1 billion people spent the hour in the dark, an exponential increase from perhaps 50 million last year.

In Paris, the Eiffel Tower went noir. In Toronto, the CN Tower became as inconspicuous as a 553-metre building can ever be. In Athens, officials switched off the floodlights illuminating the Acropolis, an icon of western civilization. In Toronto, Honest Ed's iconically garish 23,000-bulb marquee temporarily ceased beckoning.

GTA hotels and stores welcomed guests by candlelight. Community groups hosted flashlight-lit walks. Amateur astronomers, savouring a rare approximation of light conditions in less dense locales, set up their telescopes in parks.

And tens of thousands congregated in private homes and public squares to both demonstrate their concern for the planet's fate and to share in the low-wattage spectacle.

At Nathan Phillips Square, thousands gathered for the city's official Earth Hour event, which featured a free concert. Many waved colourful glow sticks, loudly counting down the seconds until the beginning of the hour and cheering as City Hall went dark at the stroke of 8:30.

Many lights, of course, remained on. During the hour, Katie Szeto, 17, sat on a bench facing Queen St. W., looking dejectedly at the sky. "I'm a little disappointed, because I can't see the stars," said Szeto.

"And I'm sad that some buildings aren't dimmed," she said, pointing to several well-lit apartment buildings overlooking City Hall.

Organizers attempted to depict Earth Hour as a "global election," pitting people who "vote Earth" by turning their lights off versus people who "vote global warming" by leaving their lights on.

Some 250 Canadian cities participated. Yet some Canadians remained skeptical, arguing the event was little more than an exercise in feel-good tokenism.

At Dundas Square, hundreds lined up for free water filters Brita distributed to mark Earth Hour.

Olesya Kolisnyk, an environmentally conscious 29-year-old near the front of the line, said she had "very low expectations" about the event's long-term impact, though she supported the concept. "Something is better than nothing. Maybe we can do it quarterly."

WWF organizers said they acknowledged the limitations of a one-hour annual event. But they argued the event's worldwide popularity could influence governments to sign a new international accord on carbon emissions at the UN Climate Conference in Copenhagen in December. The Kyoto Protocol expires in 2012.

"This is a critical year for climate," WWF Canada president and chief executive officer Gerald Butts has said. "We need to come out of Copenhagen with a workable deal, based on science, that is going to lower carbon emissions globally. We think this is a turning point."

China, whose support environmental groups consider essential to the success of any worldwide climate plan, participated in Earth Hour for the first time, turning off the lights at prominent Olympic venues and office towers.

During last year's Earth Hour, Milton, Newmarket, Aurora and Halton Hills cut their electricity use by a greater percentage than Toronto. Milton led the GTA with a 15 per cent reduction.

Before last night, Hydro officials cautiously predicted a Toronto decrease of 10 per cent. At the control centre, supervisors smiled as the reduction far surpassed expectations. "Torontonians have come through big time," said grid operations supervisor John Fletcher.

And then the city powered up. By 9:40 p.m., consumption had increased by 30 megawatts.

With files from Paola Loriggio and Jason Miller

How do you need to bring more balance to your life?

What's your best routine?

“For all my good intentions, there are days when things go wrong or I fall into old habits. When things are not going well, when I'm grumpy or mad, I'll realize that I've not been paying attention to my soul and I've not been following my best routine.”

-- Robert Fulghum

How do you need to bring more balance to your life?

Robert Fulghum has shared, “The older I get, the more I realize the importance of exercising the various dimensions of my body, soul, mind and heart. Taken together, these aspects give me a sense of wholeness. I want to be a whole human being rather than one who limps on one leg because I don't know how to use all of my parts. Intellectual, emotional, and physical activity are not separate entities. Rather, they are dimensions of the same human being.”

"There is an Indian Belief that everyone is in a house of four rooms: A physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into every room everyday, even if only to keep it aired, we are not complete."

-- Rumer Godden

Bush Verbal Gaff Yet Again - New Book

"I'm going to put people in my place, so when the history of this administration is written at least there's an authoritarian voice saying exactly what happened," Bush said.

CALGARY, Alberta — Former President George W. Bush said on Tuesday that he won't criticize Barack Obama because the new U.S. president "deserves my silence," and said he plans to write a book about the 12 toughest decisions he made in office.

Bush declined to critique the Obama administration in his first speech since leaving office in January. Former Vice President Dick Cheney has said that Obama's decisions threatened America's safety.

"I'm not going to spend my time criticizing him. There are plenty of critics in the arena," Bush said. "He deserves my silence."

Bush said he wants Obama to succeed and said it's important that he has that support. Talk-show host Rush Limbaugh has said he hoped Obama would fail.

"I love my country a lot more than I love politics," Bush said. "I think it is essential that he be helped in office."

The invitation-only event titled a "Conversation with George W. Bush" attracted close to 2,000 guests who paid $3,100 per table. Bush received two standing ovations from the predominantly business crowd.

About 200 protested outside the event; four of them were arrested. Some protesters threw shoes at an effigy of Bush, a reference to the Iraqi journalist who tossed his shoes at the former president during a December news conference in Baghdad.

"He shouldn't be able to go anywhere in the world and just present himself as a private citizen," protest organizer Peggy Askin said. "We do not have any use for bringing war criminals into this country. It's an affront."

Story continues below

While Bush is unpopular in Canada, he is less so in oil-rich Alberta, the country's most conservative province and one sometimes called the Texas of the north.

"This is my maiden voyage. My first speech since I was the president of the United States and I couldn't think of a better place to give it than Calgary, Canada," Bush said.

The event's organizers declined to say how much Bush was paid to speak at the gathering.

Bush said that he doesn't know what he will do in the long term but that he will write a book that will ask people to consider what they would do if they had to protect the United States as president.

He said it will be fun to write and that "it's going to be (about) the 12 toughest decisions I had to make."

"I'm going to put people in my place, so when the history of this administration is written at least there's an authoritarian voice saying exactly what happened," Bush said.

"I want people to understand what it was like to sit in the Oval Office and have them come in and say we have captured Khalid Sheik Mohammed, the mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks, the alleged killer of a guy named Danny Pearl because he was simply Jewish, and we think we have information on further attacks on the United States," Bush said.

Bush didn't specify what the 12 hardest decisions were but said Iraq is better off without Saddam Hussein in power.

Bush was also full of jokes during his appearance. He joked that he would do more speeches to pay for his new house in Dallas.

"I actually paid for a house last fall. I think I'm the only American to have bought a house in the fall of 2008," he quipped.

He also said his mother is doing well. Barbara Bush was released from a Houston hospital Friday, nine days after undergoing heart surgery. "Clearly he can't live without her," Bush said of his father and former President George H.W. Bush.

Bush seemed to enjoy himself even though the event started later than expected because of tight security. "I'll sit here all day," Bush said during a question-and-answer session. "I'm flattered people even want to hear me in the first place."

Source

ShamWow Pitch Man Arrested In Miami

Vince Offer (real name: Vince Shalomi) better known as the SHAM-WOW/SLAP CHOP guy, was arrested last month in Miami. Seems ol' Vince gave his own brand of Slap Chop to a *ahem* woman of the night after she tried to bite his tongue off. Unbelievable.

VINCE IN HAPPIER TIMES

According to the Smoking Gun, Vince met a woman in a Miami bar; the two went up to his hotel room; a transaction of $1000 cash was made; he kissed her; she bit his tongue and wouldn't let go; he punched her repeatedly in the face until she released his tongue; he ran down the hall to the hotel lobby; police were called; they were both arrested.

You can read the entire police report via the Smoking Gun, but I think it much more interesting to imagine the way Vince would describe the encounter:

"Hi, it's Vince here with Slap Chop and I'm in a great mood today from slapping my troubles away. Look, you love sex, you hate relationships. No problem-Fahget' about it. Look, here's a prostitute in Miami-you're gonna have an exciting life now and for only a $1000 cash. You could pay more, but why? This prostitute is from Miami and you know those Floridians, they always make good stuff. Sure, she might try to bite your tongue off, but watch this America: one slap, two slap, three slap. Look, the prostitute falls right off. Life's hard enough; ya' don't want a prostitute attached to your tongue. We're gonna make America free from tongue biting prostitutes, One Slap At A Time. "

ShamWow Guy In Slap, Chop Bust

TV pitchman battered hooker in South Beach hotel room brawl

MARCH 27--Meet Vince Shlomi. He's probably better known to you as the ShamWow Guy, the ubiquitous television pitchman who has been phenomenally successful peddling absorbent towels and food choppers. Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room. According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue. The affidavit, a copy of which you'll find here, notes that during the 4 AM fight Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face (she is pictured here in mug shots snapped following busts in 2008 and 2005). After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse. "Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons," police reported. In a brief telephone interview, Harris declined to answer TSG questions about her run-in with Shlomi, though she did say she is considering a lawsuit against the pitchman. Asked if she worked as a hooker, Harris declined comment. As seen in the below mug shot, Shlomi was also injured during the fracas and, court records show, was treated at Mount Sinai Medical Center. While Shlomi and Harris were both arrested for felony aggravated battery, prosecutors this month declined to file formal charges against the combatants. Police records list Shlomi's occupation as "Marketing," but make no mention of his affiliation with the ShamWow or the Slap Chop, both of which sell for $19.95 (plus shipping and handling). (6 pages)

The Smoking Gun

Whats The Scope Today?

Leo (July 23 — Aug. 22)

You are going through a valuable education process. Your eyes are being opened to insights that were previously unattainable. Your ideas have attracted some ridicule and derision, but you will find that you get the last, and very hearty, laugh.

Scorpio (Oct. 24 — Nov. 22)

You now have a chance to influence the outcome of a crucial process. Opportunity is knocking on your door. It is offering you a window, albeit a small one. Climbing through it will involve a tight squeeze, but you can and will do it.

Gemini (May 21 — June 21)

You have issued a strong statement, yet it looks as if you may have been wrong. That's not a problem, as long as you're not afraid to swallow a little pride and backtrack.

Source

Ontario Harmonizes Taxes- Everybody Pays More$$$

PimpThisBum.com Raises 50k for Homeless Man

Pimp This Bum' Trying
To Help Homeless

- A reality Web site called PimpThisBum.com is trying to help the homeless on the streets of Houston.

Tim Edwards was once a normal guy with a full-time job as an office manager.

Now, he is the focus of a Internet marketing campaign and a weekly Web cast.

The creators are a 55-year-old marketing specialist and his 24-year-old son.

They said if they had called the site "Help the Homeless," many people would have just blown by without a second thought.

New Worm Hits April 1- Beware!

CTV.ca News Staff

A cyber Trojan worm is expected to hit millions of computers on April 1, and authorities aren't treating it like an April Fool's joke.

The Canadian Internet Registration Authority (CIRA) has issued a warning about the latest version of the Conficker worm, which could potentially have infected any computers running a Microsoft operating system.

CIRA, which manages Canada's dot-ca (.ca) domain name registry, says that the worm will force infected computers to connect randomly to about 50,000 web URLs a day beginning April 1.

But what could happen when those computers reach those websites is anyone's guess. Files on the websites could instruct the worm to do anything from steal passwords or banking information, to delete a person's hard drive to simply sending spam messages.

Experts say that anywhere from three to 12 million computers may be infected.

CTV's technology expert Kris Abel said that most users with up-to-date anti-virus software should be fine and the biggest threat is towards computers that have been inactive for the last six months or so.

"These computers that have been infected . . . can be potentially organized . . . and be remotely controlled as one big organization force," Abel said. "Now typically this is done to use these computers to harvest credit card information . . . but we are not quite sure what the intentions will be on April 1."

Christopher Davis, the CEO of Defence Intelligence, an Ottawa-based information security firm, told CTV Newsnet that he believes the worm is "far from a hoax."

"It's one of the biggest bot-nets we've ever seen," he said.

Davis recommended that Canadian computer users make sure their Microsoft Windows update is working and that their anti-virus software is up to date.

He said that on April 1, when the worm goes live, the average user wouldn't notice it operating on their computer as it will run hidden.

CIRA says it is registering and isolating unregistered dot-ca domain names that are expected to be generated by the Conficker worm.

Abel says that there are tools online that will search and destroy the worm if you think your computer is infected.

And currently

JW's will tell you...

Some of the events yet to come are the “great tribulation,” including the war of Armageddon, and the restricting of Satan and his demons so that they cannot affect the earth. (Matthew 24:21) “God, who cannot lie,” has assured us that these things will take place. (Titus 1:2) Armageddon and the abyssing of Satan will be the result of divine intervention.

Source

I know because they called at my home last Saturday, magazine day...

Consider this info on their 1st major failure of Jw's http://myjava.netfirms.com/russell+rutherford.htm

World's cheapest car headed for North America

Tata's Nano to debut in India this summer

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Mar 23, 2009

MUMBAI – The world's cheapest car will retail for just over $2,500 and can be yours – if you live in India and are very lucky – by July, Tata Motors said Monday.

The Nano, a pint-sized vehicle designed to make car ownership accessible to millions of the world's poor, finally goes on sale in India next month. Whether it will revolutionize the global auto industry – or turn around its manufacturer's fortunes – has yet to be seen, and other automakers will be watching closely to see how consumers respond to the car. So will environmentalists.

"We can do what most countries felt could not be done," Ratan Tata, chairman of the sprawling Tata group of companies, said at a launch ceremony Monday, as the swelling strains of the theme song to "2001: A Space Odyssey" died away in the warm night.

"Nothing is really impossible if you set your mind to it," he said. "What we have done is given the country an affordable car.''

And, he pledged to go to Europe and America soon, with safer, cleaner but still ultra-cheap Nanos for the developed world.

The Nano was initially targeted at impoverished first-time car buyers in Asia and Africa, but the global economic meltdown has amplified Ratan Tata's export ambitions.

Tata Motors unveiled the Nano Europa, a slightly more robust version of the Indian model, at the Geneva Motor Show this month, with a planned launch of 2011.

The company is now designing a version of the Nano that meets U.S. safety and emissions standards and should be ready for launch in about three years, Tata said.

"A year ago, I would have said the United States is not on our radar screen," Tata said at a lunch with reporters Monday. Now, he added, "We see an opportunity for a low-cost car. In this economic situation we can see perhaps there is a place for it.''

The Nano, with a starting retail price of 112,735 rupees (the equivalent of about $2,700 Canadian) is a stripped-down car for stripped-down times: It is 10.2 feet (3.1 metres) long, has one windshield wiper, and a 623 cc rear engine.

The four-seater can travel up to 65 miles an hour (105 kilometers an hour) and gets 55.5 miles to the U.S. gallon (4.2 L/100 km). The Nano does not have air bags or antilock brakes – neither of which is required in India – and if you want air conditioning or power windows, you'll have to pay extra.

Tata said the car emits less carbon dioxide than most motorbikes.

Priced like a gadget or a piece of jewelry, the Nano will be sold not just at Tata car dealerships across India, but also online and at electronics and clothing shops owned by the Tata group of companies.

People flocked to the Nanos on display Monday night like moths to light, thwacking the doors shut, testing the seats, tooting the horns, and tugging on the flexible plastic bumpers.

"It is a proper car," said Hormazd Sorabjee, editor of Autocar India, a trade magazine. He said the designers made clever compromises to keep costs down, scrimping on the plushness of the seats, but offering a comfy suspension and ample interior space.

The Nano should make global automakers stop loading their cars with costly gadgets people don't really want, he added.

"Finally, it's going to make people realize they should be building cars that people need," he said. "This is where multinationals have failed.''

Some automakers have already started following suit. Bajaj Auto, Renault and Nissan teamed up last year to make a car that wholesales for close to $3,000 in India by 2011.

Production of the Nano has been scaled back from initial targets – and the rollout has been delayed six months – because Tata Motors had to move its Nano factory from West Bengal to the business-friendly state of Gujarat. Violent protests by farmers and opposition political party leaders over land at the initial site forced the company to change plans.

The new factory, which will be able to produce up to 500,000 cars a year, will open by year's end, officials said. Until then, Tata Motors can only produce 50,000 cars a year from an existing plant in Pantnagar, in the northern Indian state of Uttaranchal.

The prices are only guaranteed for the first 100,000 cars, and given the production constraints, consumers may well have to wait until 2010 to get cars they book in April, company officials said.

Until then, eager Nano customers will have to console themselves with the spiffy array of Nano T-shirts and Nano key chains the company has spun out – all designed to make the Nano seem not just cheap but cool.

Though Ratan Tata said he expects to eventually sell 1 million Nanos a year in India alone, few analysts predict the tiny car will be able to quickly turn around Tata Motors, which has been beset by flagging sales and high debt.

Commercial vehicle sales, its core business, have been decimated as India's growth slows, and consumers have had trouble getting affordable car loans.

Tata Motors declared a loss of 2.63 billion rupees ($54 million (U.S.)) for the October to December quarter, and it has struggled to refinance the remaining $2 billion of a $3 billion loan it took to buy the Jaguar and Land Rover brands from Ford Motor Co. in June.

Vaishali Jajoo, auto analyst at Mumbai's Angel Broking, said even if Tata Motors manages to sell 250,000 Nanos a year, it will only add 3 per cent to the company's total revenues.

"That doesn't make a significant difference to the top line. And for the bottom line, it will take five to six years to break even," Jajoo said.

Tata officials said they've spent 20 billion rupees ($396 million) developing the Nano so far.

Ratan Tata won't speculate whether this is a Henry Ford moment for India. Ford famously paid his factory workers enough so that if they saved carefully, they'd be able to buy their own Model T.

The average salary at the Pantnagar factory is 150,000 rupees ($3,000) a year, company officials said. Ratan Tata said most workers there don't even own motorbikes.

"We bus them to work everyday," he said.

George Carlin: The Invisible Man Transcript

When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it.

Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!

But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.

Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say "this guy", because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.

No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he's at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn't give a shit. Doesn't give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.

So rather than be just another mindless religious robot, mindlessly and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn't give a shit, I decided to look around for something else to worship. Something I could really count on.

And immediately, I thought of the sun. Happened like that. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. Well, not overnight, you can't see the sun at night. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I'm big on that. If I can see something, I don't know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know? So everyday I can see the sun, as it gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park, reflections on the lake, an occasional skin cancer, but hey. At least there are no crucifixions, and we're not setting people on fire simply because they don't agree with us.

Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to compare clothing. And the best thing about the sun, it never tells me I'm unworthy. Doesn't tell me I'm a bad person who needs to be saved. Hasn't said an unkind word. Treats me fine. So, I worship the sun. But, I don't pray to the sun. Know why? I wouldn't presume on our friendship. It's not polite.

I've often thought people treat God rather rudely, don't you? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a better job. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday His day off. It's not nice. And it's no way to treat a friend.

But people do pray, and they pray for a lot of different things, you know, your sister needs an operation on her crotch, your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall. But most of all, you'd really like to fuck that hot little redhead down at the convenience store. You know, the one with the eyepatch and the clubfoot? Can you pray for that? I think you'd have to. And I say, fine. Pray for anything you want. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan?

Remember that? The Divine Plan. Long time ago, God made a Divine Plan. Gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice. And for billions and billions of years, the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. Now, you come along, and pray for something. Well suppose the thing you want isn't in God's Divine Plan? What do you want Him to do? Change His plan? Just for you? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a Divine Plan. What's the use of being God if every run-down shmuck with a two-dollar prayerbook can come along and fuck up Your Plan?

And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will." "Thy Will Be Done." Fine, but if it's God's will, and He's going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn't you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It's all very confusing.

So to get around a lot of this, I decided to worship the sun. But, as I said, I don't pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.

For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that cocksucker out with one visit. It's amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.

So I've been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit's foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.

And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you. You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that's a good one. Has a nice happy ending, I'm sure you'll like that. Then there's Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I didn't care for, by the way. And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again." That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was.

In fact, I'm gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened? Everybody's okay? All right, tell you what, I'll raise the stakes a little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See? Nothing happened, oh, wait, I've got a little cramp in my leg. And my balls hurt. Plus, I'm blind. I'm blind, oh, now I'm okay again, must have been Joe Pesci, huh? God Bless Joe Pesci. Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You!

(Copyright 1999 by George Carlin. Printed without permission.)