Vince Offer (real name: Vince Shalomi) better known as the SHAM-WOW/SLAP CHOP guy, was arrested last month in Miami. Seems ol' Vince gave his own brand of Slap Chop to a *ahem* woman of the night after she tried to bite his tongue off. Unbelievable.
VINCE IN HAPPIER TIMES
According to the Smoking Gun, Vince met a woman in a Miami bar; the two went up to his hotel room; a transaction of $1000 cash was made; he kissed her; she bit his tongue and wouldn't let go; he punched her repeatedly in the face until she released his tongue; he ran down the hall to the hotel lobby; police were called; they were both arrested.
You can read the entire police report via the Smoking Gun, but I think it much more interesting to imagine the way Vince would describe the encounter:
"Hi, it's Vince here with Slap Chop and I'm in a great mood today from slapping my troubles away. Look, you love sex, you hate relationships. No problem-Fahget' about it. Look, here's a prostitute in Miami-you're gonna have an exciting life now and for only a $1000 cash. You could pay more, but why? This prostitute is from Miami and you know those Floridians, they always make good stuff. Sure, she might try to bite your tongue off, but watch this America: one slap, two slap, three slap. Look, the prostitute falls right off. Life's hard enough; ya' don't want a prostitute attached to your tongue. We're gonna make America free from tongue biting prostitutes, One Slap At A Time. "
ShamWow Guy In Slap, Chop Bust
TV pitchman battered hooker in South Beach hotel room brawl
MARCH 27--Meet Vince Shlomi. He's probably better known to you as the ShamWow Guy, the ubiquitous television pitchman who has been phenomenally successful peddling absorbent towels and food choppers. Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room. According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue. The affidavit, a copy of which you'll find here, notes that during the 4 AM fight Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face (she is pictured here in mug shots snapped following busts in 2008 and 2005). After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse. "Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons," police reported. In a brief telephone interview, Harris declined to answer TSG questions about her run-in with Shlomi, though she did say she is considering a lawsuit against the pitchman. Asked if she worked as a hooker, Harris declined comment. As seen in the below mug shot, Shlomi was also injured during the fracas and, court records show, was treated at Mount Sinai Medical Center. While Shlomi and Harris were both arrested for felony aggravated battery, prosecutors this month declined to file formal charges against the combatants. Police records list Shlomi's occupation as "Marketing," but make no mention of his affiliation with the ShamWow or the Slap Chop, both of which sell for $19.95 (plus shipping and handling). (6 pages)
The Smoking Gun